My Nan is a good teacher

My 98-year-old grandmother, Nan, recently fell. I never considered her to be delicate or fragile, so this was quite shocking to me. Fiercely independent, Nan has been active in body and mind her whole life and still lives alone! Her fall got me thinking about what has helped her thrive all these years.

Nan grew up in England. A teenager during the Blitz in London, she spent every night during that time in an Anderson shelter underground. Her house was hit by one of the biggest buzz bombs to ever hit London during the Blitz. To say she’s a tough cookie is an understatement.
Over the years I’ve watched my Nan continue with many things as she’s aged. She worked into her late 80s, travels, nurtures a vibrant social life, reads many books, takes walks around her senior village, writes her own stories, kicks ass at cornhole, and so much more. She’s only slowed down in the last few years, but she still does a lot.
Monday night bingo at Nan’s senior community at the Jersey Shore has become a staple in my family. My sister, her husband and my mother join her. When we are able to get down there on a Monday, it’s such a treat. I realize that engaging in community activities has kept Nan young. I mean, she’s even helping to keep her daughter – my mother – young and vibrant by attending these events. This has led to family game days. Nan loves a good game of Boggle. She’s still a fierce competitor.
Nan has always been a voracious reader. I still buy her British mystery novels as gifts. She has also been working on a memoir for decades. She doesn’t have a computer or internet, so she writes everything in lined notebooks. Her stories inspired me to write. Writing became part of who I am. I now recognize that doing it regularly keeps my brain active, which is essential for women as we age.
Making time for a social life and friends is also something I have seen Nan do for many years. Now in my middle age, I’ve realized I’m much happier when I make time to have coffee or lunch and connect with my friends. Nurturing those relationships is so fulfilling and adds so much to my life. I treasure my friendships.
Nan has taught me many things, such as how to make a proper pot of tea and how to knit, although I never did get the hang of it. However, I feel like the most enduring lesson is the one I’m learning now at 45 years old, as I ponder the things that Nan has done to keep her mind sharp and her body agile. I hear from many friends about how their parents are having health and cognitive declines. Nan’s independence in mind and body is a revelation.
So, here are my takeaways: play bingo and other games with your family, practice throwing your cornhole bags every chance you get, take walks outside, read lots of books, keep your hands busy, make lots of time for your friends and family, do acts of service whenever you can and write your life story, even if just for yourself. It can all be fun and will make an important difference to your older self.
Nan is still recovering from her fall. I have to admit I’m worried she may fall again. But for now, she’s being spoiled at my mother’s house. She’s frustrated at her body for healing slowly, but it hasn’t been that long. So maybe it’s my turn to be strong for her and to model that strength for my son. I continue to be motivated and inspired by Nan. I’m going to keep moving my body and exercising my mind in all the ways that she has taught me.
Kristen Haas lives in Maplewood and is a mom, an educator, entrepreneur, writer and “Nan’s favorite.”
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