Clearing up the misconceptions, with local help
Perhaps this is the year that you are resolved to reduce stress. Maybe you are looking for ways to improve your mood or bring more peace and calm to your life.
Meditation often tops the list of ways to enhance your mental health and overall well-being. You likely have heard about the benefits of meditation, but common misconceptions may have prevented you from committing to a practice.
If you’re wondering what meditation even is, consider the definition by Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who said, “Meditation is to be aware of what is going on: in your body, in your feelings, in your mind, and in the world.”
Ann Henry, a Maplewood resident, began meditating shortly after the birth of her triplets more than 16 years ago. “Seeking to reduce stress led me to meditation. Its effectiveness has been a major reason for continuing the journey,” says Henry. “Practicing meditation has made an enormous, positive impact on my life. It has strengthened my ability to focus, be less reactive and more connected. Most importantly, it has increased my patience and decreased my frustration levels, which has been a game changer as a mom.”
Jean Vitrano is a mindfulness facilitator and teacher who leads meditation groups and classes at her Maplewood business, A Mindful Life Studio, and virtually. She recommends trying out different teachers and communities to discover what style resonates the most. “For example, I teach mindfulness meditation, where the focus is on staying in the present moment and bringing mindfulness practices into everyday life.”
Focusing on the present moment does not mean sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed with fingers touching with a blissful look on your face. Maplewood resident and certified meditation and mindfulness instructor Anne Sussman teaches that there is no wrong or right way to sit during meditation. “The most important thing is to be comfortable. You can sit in a chair, on a sofa or sit up in bed,” says Sussman, who teaches virtually and in person at Bhakti Barn Yoga in Millburn, among other places. Adding cushions, pillows or blankets to make yourself seated comfortably may be helpful.
Traditionally, it’s recommended to sit upright when you meditate so that you can breathe unimpeded. “However, if you have any issues and being seated for 20 minutes or so is a challenge for your body, then do lie down,” says Sussman. You just don’t want to get yourself so comfortable that you fall asleep.
Another misconception is that you’re not supposed to think or have any thoughts while you meditate. That is actually not the goal. The intention for most practices is to allow the thoughts to come and go and to return to an anchor, which may be your breath or a mantra.
Kathy Ehrich Dowd, a Maplewood resident who has been meditating for more than 25 years, understands the effort of not getting attached to thoughts. “I struggle with this every time I meditate. But I just focus on my breath and start again, over and over, and it’s OK. It’s easier some days than others, and that’s OK, too.”
Camille Alonso, a holistic health coach, teaches a movement and meditation
class at The Baird in South Orange. She offers this advice to those having a hard time stilling
their thoughts or their bodies. “When you notice yourself fidget, say in your mind, ‘I am fidgeting.’ When you notice a thought come up, in your mind say, ‘Here comes another thought.’ Observe the sensation of the present moment without clinging to it.”
Experienced meditators have claimed they are able to go deeper in their practice when they meditate with others. Sussman uses the analogy of attending a Bruce Springsteen concert in which everyone is singing along versus you singing alone in your car. “There is energy that’s created in community,” she says.
Nancy Merant, who has been meditating on and off for 20 years, believes in the power of group
meditation. Merant is the organizer of Maplewood Meditates, a bi-annual free event in Memorial Park in Maplewood in the fall and at The Woodland in the winter. It is supported by the Maplewood Department of Community Services.
“Meditating at Maplewood Meditates creates a deeper sense of community for me. It’s what I’ve heard from many of the attendees,” says Merant. “We’re usually rushing from one place to the next, but this intentional, communal experience of gathering to meditate creates a moment of harmony that I hope has a ripple effect throughout the lives of all of the attendees.”
If groups or attending classes don’t align with your schedule, another option is using an app. Insight Timer, Calm, Waking Up and The Happier (formerly known as 10%
Happier) are convenient to use. Although the apps are free and offer a variety of meditation practices, users can subscribe and pay for more content. Pop in your ear buds and listen to a guided meditation during your commute on New Jersey Transit or set a timer and focus on your breath.
One drawback to apps is that a teacher is not readily available if the user has questions. Plus, those who are new to meditation may find it hard to maintain motivation. Jessica Yunker, an acupuncturist with a practice in Maplewood, agrees. “I thought I would like the apps because they’re so flexible, but it turns out I like being ‘accountable’ to a group. We meet on Zoom.”
After 36 years on Wall Street, Maplewood resident Bob French began meditating when his girlfriend recommended the app Calm to help with his anxiety. “I have found the benefits of meditation to be many. It has helped me be a more peaceful person. It has helped me see things more clearly. It has helped me see how little control I have over my thinking. It has helped me to be in the present moment more than I ever could be before. And it is great training for being in the present moment when not meditating.”
French leads guided meditations and is completing his training to be a spiritual director.
As with all new habits, it’s recommended to schedule a daily time to practice meditation to firmly establish it into your routine. Placing a notification in your calendar or on your phone can serve as a helpful reminder.
If you skip a day or two, be gentle with yourself but also don’t take that as an excuse to stop. Alonso encourages her students to “jump right back in! Life will throw curveballs, and that
is OK. Meditation is always there if you need it. The best part is, it doesn’t judge if you don’t show up.”
It may also be helpful to take the perspective that meditation isn’t something that you do just for a few minutes a day. Vitrano encourages her students to bring their meditation
into their everyday life. “Instead of taking a shower and thinking about the day ahead and what you have to do and want to do, or replaying past conversations and events, you can enjoy the immediacy of warm water coming down on your body and savor the experience. It feels so good. It is a gift.”
Judie Hurtado is a Maplewood resident and spiritual teacher who has been
meditating for more than 25 years.
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