FACING THE TEST OF JERSEY DRIVING By Ellen Donker

It feels good to be behind the wheel

image by pngtree.com

When I was growing up, getting a driver’s license was a big deal. It was a ticket to some independence and a chance to give our parents a break from driving us around town. Everyone made an appointment at the MVC to take the road test on their 17th birthday. I did the same and celebrated the day as a legal driver.

I took to driving quite naturally, but my days on the road were not completely stress-free. That’s why you keep practicing. It’s probably why, on day two of my newfound freedom, my father had me drive him on an errand in his ginormous Cadillac. The road was crowded, with two narrow lanes each way. I was sure I would crash his fancy car, but then I didn’t. It made the next time I drove that much easier.

When it was time for my kids to learn to drive, my husband happily handed me the responsibility. As triplets they were all on the same timeline, so I took each one out to whatever empty parking lot I could find. To practice parallel parking, we positioned garbage cans at the curb in front of our house. Neighbors with older kids nodded knowingly as they walked by, remembering the fraught drill with their own children.

These days, kids have to take lessons from a driving school if they want their licenses when they turn 17, so I enrolled all three. When their birthday came around, I took Madeline and Christian to the MVC in Rahway. Tim had a glitch and had to wait a few weeks. Let’s just say that neither child passed the first test, so I found myself at the MVC several weeks later. And maybe once more. When it was Tim’s turn to take the test, I selfishly asked him to try to pass the test the first time. I was getting tired of the trek to Rahway. And he did. Hooray!

I wondered how we would manage having three new drivers in the house all wanting to use the cars at the same time, but it was rarely a problem. That’s a benefit of living where kids can walk most places. And maybe it’s why, to my surprise, some of my kids’ peers didn’t rush to get their licenses. Apparently, it’s a trend that’s been in motion for the past 20 years. CNN reported that according to a 2020 study, nearly 40 percent of teens delayed getting their license by one to two years, and 30 percent delayed by more than two years. Anxiety is the biggest reason, but finances and environmental concerns also play a role.

Early in her driving career, Madeline wasn’t that interested in getting behind the wheel. I pushed her to drive locally until she felt more comfortable because it was sometimes inconvenient for me to take her places. When she was in college, I helped her buy a car. That did wonders with getting her in the driver’s seat. She is now 25 years old and drives everywhere. She finds herself giving pep talks to friends who are terrified to drive and will avoid highways whenever possible or take an Uber to get around. I know that traffic in northern New Jersey is no joke, but doing life here so often requires a car. I’m all for using public transportation, bicycles and one’s own two feet, but I also think it’s important to have the skill of driving. Maybe that means plowing through our unease in order to tame it. Face it head on. Remember the times when we were brave and everything turned out fine. I’ve had my share of close calls, endured horrendous traffic jams and gotten hopelessly lost in sketchy neighborhoods, but I wouldn’t trade it for the freedom it gives me to be in control and able to meet life’s demands.